A brave return! - 09/08/19

This morning I bravely returned to the scene of the incident/embarrassment! With familiar faces (none of whom ever speak to me!) and the constant noise of anxiety in my head, it was a challenge to say the least. But I did survive and although I know that people now have a memory and opinion/judgement on me based on my misfortune, I reckon that says more about them than me. I'd have hoped for anybody to have at least offered me a smile, or a hello, or just a kind word to acknowledge my courage for showing up. Despite the complete and utter failure of a single soul to do so, I did repeat over and over in my mind 'You are doing it!' because I genuinely needed the encouragement!!

I met up with my lovely friend (T) in the afternoon which was a good distraction for me because we totally avoided the issue and discussed other things instead. Perfect! However, bad luck seems to be following me this week. I wore a new white top and scarf today, only to end up having a dreadful fight with a tomato ketchup sachet. Not once but twice it squirted in the wrong direction and got me! Thankfully being with a friend meant I could cope with this incident calmly and we managed to sort it with the minimal of fuss...'There's nothing to be seen here!'

I'm thinking I need to get the white sage out and cleanse myself of the bad energy that's surrounding me! Seriously, I do not want to fall back into a depression and my mind still frequently wanders back to Tuesday morning...it is taking up way too much space in my days. Something needs to happen. I can't go on like this forever.